WrestleMania 23 Predictions (by Audrey).

WrestleMania Predictions (by my dog).

Instead of giving you a standard WrestleMania prediction column, I am going to shake things up. I asked my dog, Audrey, to chose the winner of each match of WrestleMania 23. How do you ask a dog to choose? Well, a simple and unscientific method was necessary. I took a memo pad, wrote the name of the competitors on opposite sides of the paper (I consistently placed champions on the left side of the paper). Then I placed a dog treat under each person’s name. Audrey sat and watched. I told her to “pick one.” The first one she chose, I figured was the one she picked. Let’s get to it:

Batista vs. Undertaker: Audrey’s pick — Undertaker. I agree with the dog. I think she picked a winner. Undertaker’s undefeated streak is something I don’t think will be broken — especially by someone as old as Batista.

John Cena vs. HBK: Audrey’s pick — John Cena. Another situation where I agree with the dog. This will be an excellent match because HBK will get the best out of Cena. Also, Cena can really tell a story. Cena is McMahon’s golden boy and should win. (I think Cena is undefeated at ‘Mania, too. Why should he start losing now?).

Lashley vs. Umaga: When I wrote on the paper “McMahon | Trump,” Audrey picked McMahon. I was shocked by this pick. I gave her another go. I wrote “Lashley | Umaga.” Then she picked Lashley. I figured she picked McMahon because she though McMahon would lose his hair. So far, I agree with every pick she made.

Money in the Bank: Audrey’s Pick — CM Punk (2nd Pick: Edge). This was a shocker. I took note of her 2nd pick because of the amount of competitors in this match. I don’t believe that CM Punk will win, but then again, I didn’t think that Lashley would be ECW Champion so early in his career. I figure Edge will win again because he’s got the 2nd most high profile WrestleMania undefeated streak.

ECW Originals vs. New Breed: Audrey’s Pick — New Breed. No one in my house picked the ECW Originals to win. I asked my wife about the match and she didn’t know 6 out of 8 of the competitors. I asked, “Do you think that the WWE will let RVD win in his home state of Michigan?” She answered, “No. New Breed will win, then.”

Melina vs. Ashley: I feel bad for a lot of wrestlers that are not on the card (Ric Flair, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas, Johnny Nitro, Kenny Doane, Chavo, Kendrick and London, Jimmy Yang, Greg Helms, and maybe William Regal) while Ashley has a championship shot. We all know that Mickie James or Victoria should get the title shot because they can actually wrestle. Audrey’s pick — Melina. I agree with Audrey, I think that Melina should win, but I think that Ashley will win because it will continue the feud to Unforgiven.

Kane vs. Khali: Audrey’s pick — Kane. I found this pick surprising since it is rumored that Kane is going to take some time off after WrestleMania. Maybe Audrey thinks that the WWE will let Kane have a win and then take some time off. I figure that Khali will win because the WWE always screws Kane.

Benoit vs. MVP: Audrey’s pick — Chris Benoit. I guess Audrey does not see a lot of title changes for this WrestleMania. I figure that Benoit is repeating his role as temporary U.S. champion (he lost the title to JBL last year, why not lose it again to MVP?). I’m picking MVP.

That’s it for WrestleMania Predictions. Even though it doesn’t seem like the best WrestleMania card ever, I think it will be a fun show where every wrestler performs their best. This is WrestleMania — the biggest PPV of the year. There will be some great wrestling, some great mania, and plenty of fun.

Christian Cage’s Consultant: The Suspects

This past week on TNA Impact, Christian Cage revealed that he was working with a consultant to prepare himself for Kurt Angle.

The clues:
this person, they think just like you
this person wrestles just like you
this person is intense just like you
this person, like me, and for good reason can’t stand you

Suspects:
Sylvester Terkay – Recently released by WWE. According to Wikipedia, “While attending North Carolina State University, he finished second in the 1992 NCAA Division I Heavyweight tournament, losing to future Olympic gold medalist (and future fellow Pro Wrestling superstar) Kurt Angle by points, 2-1, and later became champion in 1993.”

Samoa Joe – Obvious candidate.

Eric Angle – Kurt Angle’s older brother. Perhaps he doesn’t fit Cage’s description perfectly, but could easily “think just like” his brother, Kurt. Additionally, Eric Angle could be built up to fit Cage’s description. I do not know his current contractual status.

Brock Lesnar – mentioned specifically by Kurt Angle, the WWE and Lesnar worked out a deal April 25, 2006. The terms of the deal aren’t known, but I would bet there is a no-compete clause that probably prohibits participation in TNA or wrestling in the United States.

Chris Benoit – Currently the WWE’s United States Champion, he fits Cage’s description perfectly. Unless Chris Benoit does something completely uncharacteristic like walking out on his WWE contract, Benoit should be staying put.

Goldberg – Another person specifically named by Kurt Angle as a possible consultant. Goldberg doesn’t fit Cage’s description at all. Unless “wrestles just like you” means that this person is a wrestler in the business and not describing Angle’s method of wrestling.

RVD – Also under a WWE contract, see Goldberg comments. No intensity here.

ECW: Monty Brown Arrives

A week after CM Punk lost his win streak, he needed help from Kelly Kelly to beat Matt Stryker? Maybe he ate Vince’s donut or something.

Monty Brown has been sort of repackaged as Maqrquis Cor Von. This kind of feels like back in the 80s when the WWE would never acknowledge an athlete’s past. I remember “the newcomer Harley Race” back when Harley Race came to the then-WWF.

Too bad they saddled Monty with lousy music. I didn’t watch TNA enough to know if he used an armbar finisher – I always thought he used the Pounce as his finisher. Also odd is that when Monty Brown was signed by the WWE, WWE.com had a statement that Monty Brown had been signed. Why publicize the fact you signed Monty Brown then go ahead and rename him?

Lashley promo? Well, he can only get better. His promo included Lashley explaining how a Triple Threat match works – I guess since it SciFi that may be necessary. Lashley needs a manager.

Elijah Burke can cut one hell of a promo. He should be Lashley’s manager.

The Sandman and Burke had a sloppy match and the finish looked weak. Burke needs some more time in the ring.

Lashley retained the championship using a running powerslam? Powerslam? What year is this? Decent match, although Lashley and RVD seemed lost at times. Surprisingly, Test was the star performer of the match. His offense looked solid, his selling was rather well done.

Looks like Test is ECW’s Triple H. I remember back when Raw ended a number of times with Triple H over the fallen champion yelling that he would be champion. Now Test is doing the same.

This show could have been a lot worse. I only watched it since I read that Monty Brown was debuting.

2006: Reviewing the Year of Wrestling: Part 1.

There are plenty of other articles looking over the past year in wrestling. I’ll be writing a couple of articles about the past year. I’ll look at the year in terms of WWE, TNA, their main event scenes, their undercard, tag team situation and miscellaneous. This will be a multi-part posting considering how long this post could be.

WWE Main Event Scene:

Raw’s WWE Championship scene brought in new main eventers this year. Only three men held the WWE Championship this year: John Cena, Edge, and Rob Van Dam.

Edge has now solidified himself as a believable main event-caliber wrestler. He had some fantastic matches with Cena, but the one match that stands out to me is Edge’s title defense against Ric Flair in a ladder match on Raw. The match was excellent with dangerous spots and showed how badly Edge wanted to keep his WWE Championship. Actually, every WWE Championship match Edge performed in showed how badly Edge wanted to be champion. From good promos to excellent matches, Edge should remain a main eventer (assuming Triple H doesn’t crush him in singles competition).

Rob Van Dam looked to be the new/old face of WWECW. WWE took a chance by having the WWE Championship given to the high flyer at an ECW PPV. WWE’s biggest championship belt rested on the shoulder of RVD. RVD then blew his spot by getting caught on drugs. The ECW and WWE championships were taken from RVD quickly and it looks as though Van Dam will never be a champion again. I expect RVD to go to TNA as soon as his contract is over.

John Cena is the champ and has been quite established as the top face of WWE. I think his ring skills have improved and he does what he can with scripted promos. Raw is stacked with other main event level talent such as HBK, Triple H, Randy Orton, Ric Flair (when necessary), Umaga and Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Okay, I’m kidding about Duggan – just seeing if you were paying attention.

SmackDown!’s World Heavyweight Championship scene was chaotic. Batista vacated his title, Raw’s Kurt Angle filled in as champion (after HBK refused to go over to SmackDown! according to articles online), Rey Mysterio was terribly booked as champion only to lose to the revitalized King Booker. King Booker kept the title with excellent promos, created a stable of wrestlers, but lost the championship to Batista in November. The best thing for the division this year was King Booker. His size and ability allowed him to feud with wrestlers of all sizes and his personality made the fans root for the babyface. Hopefully, he’s solidified himself as a true main eventer after numerous false starts (such as the WrestleMania XIX debacle against Triple H).

SmackDown! needs to position some more main eventers for its championship scene. Finlay’s feud with Batista, involvement in King Booker’s court and his excellent ring work make him a candidate for rising to the main event. Chris Benoit is a main eventer and does not need the U.S. title. Mr. Kennedy has positioned himself at the upper mid-card/lower main event after his excellent feud with Undertaker. If need be, Kane can become a champion with the right push. Mysterio and Undertaker can float around in whatever scene they would like although Taker has more control over his own destiny.

Next Time: I’ll cover either TNA’s main event scene or WWE’s undercard.