WrestleMania 23 Predictions (by Audrey).

WrestleMania Predictions (by my dog).

Instead of giving you a standard WrestleMania prediction column, I am going to shake things up. I asked my dog, Audrey, to chose the winner of each match of WrestleMania 23. How do you ask a dog to choose? Well, a simple and unscientific method was necessary. I took a memo pad, wrote the name of the competitors on opposite sides of the paper (I consistently placed champions on the left side of the paper). Then I placed a dog treat under each person’s name. Audrey sat and watched. I told her to “pick one.” The first one she chose, I figured was the one she picked. Let’s get to it:

Batista vs. Undertaker: Audrey’s pick — Undertaker. I agree with the dog. I think she picked a winner. Undertaker’s undefeated streak is something I don’t think will be broken — especially by someone as old as Batista.

John Cena vs. HBK: Audrey’s pick — John Cena. Another situation where I agree with the dog. This will be an excellent match because HBK will get the best out of Cena. Also, Cena can really tell a story. Cena is McMahon’s golden boy and should win. (I think Cena is undefeated at ‘Mania, too. Why should he start losing now?).

Lashley vs. Umaga: When I wrote on the paper “McMahon | Trump,” Audrey picked McMahon. I was shocked by this pick. I gave her another go. I wrote “Lashley | Umaga.” Then she picked Lashley. I figured she picked McMahon because she though McMahon would lose his hair. So far, I agree with every pick she made.

Money in the Bank: Audrey’s Pick — CM Punk (2nd Pick: Edge). This was a shocker. I took note of her 2nd pick because of the amount of competitors in this match. I don’t believe that CM Punk will win, but then again, I didn’t think that Lashley would be ECW Champion so early in his career. I figure Edge will win again because he’s got the 2nd most high profile WrestleMania undefeated streak.

ECW Originals vs. New Breed: Audrey’s Pick — New Breed. No one in my house picked the ECW Originals to win. I asked my wife about the match and she didn’t know 6 out of 8 of the competitors. I asked, “Do you think that the WWE will let RVD win in his home state of Michigan?” She answered, “No. New Breed will win, then.”

Melina vs. Ashley: I feel bad for a lot of wrestlers that are not on the card (Ric Flair, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas, Johnny Nitro, Kenny Doane, Chavo, Kendrick and London, Jimmy Yang, Greg Helms, and maybe William Regal) while Ashley has a championship shot. We all know that Mickie James or Victoria should get the title shot because they can actually wrestle. Audrey’s pick — Melina. I agree with Audrey, I think that Melina should win, but I think that Ashley will win because it will continue the feud to Unforgiven.

Kane vs. Khali: Audrey’s pick — Kane. I found this pick surprising since it is rumored that Kane is going to take some time off after WrestleMania. Maybe Audrey thinks that the WWE will let Kane have a win and then take some time off. I figure that Khali will win because the WWE always screws Kane.

Benoit vs. MVP: Audrey’s pick — Chris Benoit. I guess Audrey does not see a lot of title changes for this WrestleMania. I figure that Benoit is repeating his role as temporary U.S. champion (he lost the title to JBL last year, why not lose it again to MVP?). I’m picking MVP.

That’s it for WrestleMania Predictions. Even though it doesn’t seem like the best WrestleMania card ever, I think it will be a fun show where every wrestler performs their best. This is WrestleMania — the biggest PPV of the year. There will be some great wrestling, some great mania, and plenty of fun.

Quick Monday Night Raw Review:

Just got done watching a pretty good Monday Night Raw. The WWE has been doing very well leading up to WrestleMania — they go right back to basics. It’s odd how just creating competition (for a title or the Money in the Bank match) is a great way to create good wrestling matches.

The conflict within Rated RKO was interesting, but you knew that Edge was going to win once you saw the combatants in the Last Chance (Raw Only) Battle Royale. The battle royale match itself was quite good and Edge showed himself to be a very entertaining heel when he won. The match almost definitely cemented the Ric Flair versus Carlito showdown for ‘Mania as well.

The Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton match was also a fun preview of the Money in the Bank match. The DQ finish was a nice way of keeping both competitors strong and Hardy’s over the ladder legdrop was quite the sight.

I like the WrestleMania Reversal Matches. Granted, we only had one this episode, but it’s still a great concept.

The HBK-JBL (that’s a lot of initials) encounter was good for what it was — a device to get audio for the spectacular video package that will air right before Raw’s Main Event of HBK vs. Cena.

The Benoit-Cena match was very good and told a story as well. While I was hoping for a DQ finish or something other than Benoit losing cleanly, the ending was well booked with Cena using a take-down to get Benoit in position for the STFU.

The Battle of the Billionaire angle was pretty predictable, but was nonetheless entertaining. Vince’s yelling that he was symbolically shaving the heads of those who booed him was odd and showed that he was a bit demented and strange leading up to the WrestleMania match.

Also, it looks like the end of the Masterlock Challenge. I didn’t think that Masters was going to be successful against another brand’s champion (even if that brand is ECW). Lashley was believable as the first person to break out of Masters’ challenge (although my wife did ask why didn’t anyone just kick their way out – either by kicking low or stomping on Masters’ foot).

Melina’s angle with Ashley was served well via Candice Michelle. Melina’s a bit like the mean popular girl in high school — at least in the way she acts.

Overall, a pretty good show. Great ending with the announcement of the No Way Out rematch of Cena-HBK vs. Batista & Undertaker. Conflicts a plenty in that match.

ECW: Monty Brown Arrives

A week after CM Punk lost his win streak, he needed help from Kelly Kelly to beat Matt Stryker? Maybe he ate Vince’s donut or something.

Monty Brown has been sort of repackaged as Maqrquis Cor Von. This kind of feels like back in the 80s when the WWE would never acknowledge an athlete’s past. I remember “the newcomer Harley Race” back when Harley Race came to the then-WWF.

Too bad they saddled Monty with lousy music. I didn’t watch TNA enough to know if he used an armbar finisher – I always thought he used the Pounce as his finisher. Also odd is that when Monty Brown was signed by the WWE, WWE.com had a statement that Monty Brown had been signed. Why publicize the fact you signed Monty Brown then go ahead and rename him?

Lashley promo? Well, he can only get better. His promo included Lashley explaining how a Triple Threat match works – I guess since it SciFi that may be necessary. Lashley needs a manager.

Elijah Burke can cut one hell of a promo. He should be Lashley’s manager.

The Sandman and Burke had a sloppy match and the finish looked weak. Burke needs some more time in the ring.

Lashley retained the championship using a running powerslam? Powerslam? What year is this? Decent match, although Lashley and RVD seemed lost at times. Surprisingly, Test was the star performer of the match. His offense looked solid, his selling was rather well done.

Looks like Test is ECW’s Triple H. I remember back when Raw ended a number of times with Triple H over the fallen champion yelling that he would be champion. Now Test is doing the same.

This show could have been a lot worse. I only watched it since I read that Monty Brown was debuting.

WWE No Mercy 2006

Matt Hardy vs. Gregory Helms
I thought the tag team match-up would be a better choice for an opener. NC’s own Matt Hardy didn’t seem to start the show with the right pop for a PPV. The two guys fought it out like heavyweights. The top rope Shining Wizard was a very nice “Wow” moment. A Twist of Fate gets the win. The Cruiserweight championship stays with the longest reigning champion. At least these two were on a PPV. Lots of “Hardy-love” from the WWE; first Jeff wins the IC championship, then Matt gets a PPV win in his home state. Crazy.

King Booker and William Regal
Booker puts over his competition and plays his character to a T. Give this man an Emmy award.

The WWE Tag Team Championship:
Kendrick and London vs. Stevens and James with Michelle McCool.
Sounds like the Zack Attack wrote the music for the Stevens and James team. Kendrick and London fight like cruiserweights. How odd. Perhaps they could be competing in the cruiserweight division? [On an aside, I really think that the WWE should treat the divisions the same way the UFC does. Cruiserweights never fight Heavyweights. That’s how it should be.] James and Stevens remind me of the Midnight Express. They’re unlikable – the strut was a good way to get heel heat.

Someone please come up with another format for tag team matches, please. No more face in peril. No more! Hell of a finish, tho. I may have to start watching SmackDown! again.

Regal searches backstage for something.
I get it. Booker is the king. Finley is the knight. Regal is the jester.

Miz and his “Terry Taylor Starter Kit.” Excellent shot by JBL on the Miz. Is this guy a face? I got a great idea. Book him in a feud with the Boogeyman for 12 months. That way, everyone will know that it’s time for a bathroom break.

MVP’s intro is quite cool. He’s got his own entrance balloon thing and pyro columns. The suit is unique. Odd, but unique. Marty Garter – the superstar of superstars. Quite the challenge for MVP. I believe that was the overdrive for his finisher. It is one of the most unimpressive finishers in wrestling today.

WTF? They’re making matches backstage? What is this, an episode of SmackDown!? Yes. It is a $40 SmackDown! episode. Regal vs. Vito, tonight!

Ken Kennedy vs. Undertaker:
I really wish they would change the U.S. title belt to the classic one that Magnum T.A. used to wear. Much classier. The match was a slow, hard, hitting match up. A very nice brawling style by both men. Did anyone notice the Undertaker putting his foot on the rope instead of kicking out strongly against Kennedy at one point? The Deadman sold amazingly well for Mr. Kennedy. That stiff boot to the face by Kennedy to the Undertaker looked like it hurt like hell.

A piledriver?! Holy macaroni. I thought that move was outlawed. I assume that move was approved by management. Taker must have some kind of confidence in Kennedy to allow him to attempt such a move.

I am surprised at the duration of this match. Kennedy has gone toe to toe with the Undertaker for over 20 minutes. A DQ? On PPV? Yep. A DQ keeps Kennedy strong with a win. Kennedy will go on and on that he beat the Undertaker on a PPV.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero w/ Vickie Guerrero
Why won’t this feud go away? This match looks like it is going to be in the “Don’t Try This At Home” footage eventually. Two cruiserweights fighting like heavyweights once again. This was an amazingly brutal match with a very nice finish. It only took one ref to restrain Rey Mysterio? Chavo’s shoulders weren’t quite down, but that’s okay. What now for Chavo and Rey?

I hear John Cena is in a movie. When did this happen?

Regal vs. Vito.
The match to cool the crowd between the Rey/Chavo and the Main Event.

Regal vs. CHRIS BENOIT
Much better match! This is a very pleasant surprise. Hopefully Chris Benoit will follow up this performance with a run at the World Heavyweight Championship. It’s time for Chris Benoit to main event again. Some very nice chain wrestling by both Benoit and Regal. It’s always nice to watch a technical wrestling match on a PPV. That apron DDT spot is always sick.

This is an excellent PPV match. These guys were pulling out moves that I haven’t seen in years. A bloody, stiff, and excellent match-up. It’s one of the stiffest match I’ve seen in a while.

The Court Convenes:
Finley is becoming a face by accident. Court’s adjourned.

Dave and Bobby Bond:
These kids are like the Rock and Steve Austin when it comes to promos in that opposite kind of way. What’s with Dave’s Chuck Palumbo-like beard?

Fatal Four Way for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Batista’s got a new ring entrance thing: the helicopter spin. King Booker does not look like a happy man. Finley is coming out looking like a star in this feud. He’s just beating up everyone. The four-way match protects the young Lashley. He’s starting to grow as a wrestler and his matches with Finley have been helpful for his maturing.

For a second, it appeared as if Finley was about to win the World Championship. Batista with the Jackhammer – not bad. If Goldberg isn’t using it, why not Batista? Batista then used the spear on Lashley. Maybe he was watching some Goldberg matches on WWE 24/7 for inspiration.

Maybe Lashley should unveil an F5. How did Batista get busted open? Impressive belly to belly throw by Lashley on Batista. I really thought the Bookend was the end of the match. I was wrong. Seeing Booker and Lashley go back and forth is giving us a sneak peek as to the original PPV main event. Batista apparently buys spinebusters in bulk. Lashley’s spear on Batista was massive. I’m glad that King Booker won in a way that kept everyone strong. He looks like a weak champion since Batista did the dirty work. Lashley knocked out Batista and Finley had an all-around good match. Decent main event. OK PPV.

Quick Thought on the WWE World Championship

With Booker T now the World Champion, shouldn’t Bobby Lashley challenge for that championship? I could have sworn that Lashley handled Booker T quite easily when Booker was challenging for the United States championship. Then Finlay could beat Lashley.