WrestleMania 23 Predictions (by Audrey).

WrestleMania Predictions (by my dog).

Instead of giving you a standard WrestleMania prediction column, I am going to shake things up. I asked my dog, Audrey, to chose the winner of each match of WrestleMania 23. How do you ask a dog to choose? Well, a simple and unscientific method was necessary. I took a memo pad, wrote the name of the competitors on opposite sides of the paper (I consistently placed champions on the left side of the paper). Then I placed a dog treat under each person’s name. Audrey sat and watched. I told her to “pick one.” The first one she chose, I figured was the one she picked. Let’s get to it:

Batista vs. Undertaker: Audrey’s pick — Undertaker. I agree with the dog. I think she picked a winner. Undertaker’s undefeated streak is something I don’t think will be broken — especially by someone as old as Batista.

John Cena vs. HBK: Audrey’s pick — John Cena. Another situation where I agree with the dog. This will be an excellent match because HBK will get the best out of Cena. Also, Cena can really tell a story. Cena is McMahon’s golden boy and should win. (I think Cena is undefeated at ‘Mania, too. Why should he start losing now?).

Lashley vs. Umaga: When I wrote on the paper “McMahon | Trump,” Audrey picked McMahon. I was shocked by this pick. I gave her another go. I wrote “Lashley | Umaga.” Then she picked Lashley. I figured she picked McMahon because she though McMahon would lose his hair. So far, I agree with every pick she made.

Money in the Bank: Audrey’s Pick — CM Punk (2nd Pick: Edge). This was a shocker. I took note of her 2nd pick because of the amount of competitors in this match. I don’t believe that CM Punk will win, but then again, I didn’t think that Lashley would be ECW Champion so early in his career. I figure Edge will win again because he’s got the 2nd most high profile WrestleMania undefeated streak.

ECW Originals vs. New Breed: Audrey’s Pick — New Breed. No one in my house picked the ECW Originals to win. I asked my wife about the match and she didn’t know 6 out of 8 of the competitors. I asked, “Do you think that the WWE will let RVD win in his home state of Michigan?” She answered, “No. New Breed will win, then.”

Melina vs. Ashley: I feel bad for a lot of wrestlers that are not on the card (Ric Flair, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas, Johnny Nitro, Kenny Doane, Chavo, Kendrick and London, Jimmy Yang, Greg Helms, and maybe William Regal) while Ashley has a championship shot. We all know that Mickie James or Victoria should get the title shot because they can actually wrestle. Audrey’s pick — Melina. I agree with Audrey, I think that Melina should win, but I think that Ashley will win because it will continue the feud to Unforgiven.

Kane vs. Khali: Audrey’s pick — Kane. I found this pick surprising since it is rumored that Kane is going to take some time off after WrestleMania. Maybe Audrey thinks that the WWE will let Kane have a win and then take some time off. I figure that Khali will win because the WWE always screws Kane.

Benoit vs. MVP: Audrey’s pick — Chris Benoit. I guess Audrey does not see a lot of title changes for this WrestleMania. I figure that Benoit is repeating his role as temporary U.S. champion (he lost the title to JBL last year, why not lose it again to MVP?). I’m picking MVP.

That’s it for WrestleMania Predictions. Even though it doesn’t seem like the best WrestleMania card ever, I think it will be a fun show where every wrestler performs their best. This is WrestleMania — the biggest PPV of the year. There will be some great wrestling, some great mania, and plenty of fun.

Quick Monday Night Raw Review:

Just got done watching a pretty good Monday Night Raw. The WWE has been doing very well leading up to WrestleMania — they go right back to basics. It’s odd how just creating competition (for a title or the Money in the Bank match) is a great way to create good wrestling matches.

The conflict within Rated RKO was interesting, but you knew that Edge was going to win once you saw the combatants in the Last Chance (Raw Only) Battle Royale. The battle royale match itself was quite good and Edge showed himself to be a very entertaining heel when he won. The match almost definitely cemented the Ric Flair versus Carlito showdown for ‘Mania as well.

The Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton match was also a fun preview of the Money in the Bank match. The DQ finish was a nice way of keeping both competitors strong and Hardy’s over the ladder legdrop was quite the sight.

I like the WrestleMania Reversal Matches. Granted, we only had one this episode, but it’s still a great concept.

The HBK-JBL (that’s a lot of initials) encounter was good for what it was — a device to get audio for the spectacular video package that will air right before Raw’s Main Event of HBK vs. Cena.

The Benoit-Cena match was very good and told a story as well. While I was hoping for a DQ finish or something other than Benoit losing cleanly, the ending was well booked with Cena using a take-down to get Benoit in position for the STFU.

The Battle of the Billionaire angle was pretty predictable, but was nonetheless entertaining. Vince’s yelling that he was symbolically shaving the heads of those who booed him was odd and showed that he was a bit demented and strange leading up to the WrestleMania match.

Also, it looks like the end of the Masterlock Challenge. I didn’t think that Masters was going to be successful against another brand’s champion (even if that brand is ECW). Lashley was believable as the first person to break out of Masters’ challenge (although my wife did ask why didn’t anyone just kick their way out – either by kicking low or stomping on Masters’ foot).

Melina’s angle with Ashley was served well via Candice Michelle. Melina’s a bit like the mean popular girl in high school — at least in the way she acts.

Overall, a pretty good show. Great ending with the announcement of the No Way Out rematch of Cena-HBK vs. Batista & Undertaker. Conflicts a plenty in that match.

WWE Raw: The Go Home Edition

Survivor Series is around the corner full of traditional elimination matches. It’s got the old school wrestling fan in me interested. The opening promo on Raw with all the teams meeting and showing that they are actually teams.

I quite liked the Royal Rumble reference by Shawn Michaels and was hoping that the resolution to all the wrestlers in the ring would be a Raw Royal Rumble similar to the SmackDown! Royal Rumble and the PPV. Just have all the wrestlers involved in one giant match. It’s a bit risky, but could have been a good 10PM main event.

VKM and his lovefest for DX? No scowl or anger for DX when announcing that DX will be in a match tonight? I guess all is forgiven since Vince gets to keep so much of the t-shirt sales. (Why not mention that every time DX shills for DX that they are effectively creating a revenue stream for Vince?)

Sabu vs. Umaga – quite the unusual match up.
Sabu with a good match and can easily withstand the loss. I still don’t think of Umaga as a main eventer, but some one has to be. Quite the grill on Umaga – maybe Cryme Tyme can still his teeth.

Masters vs. Lawler + Torrie Wilson
Wow, who writes Masters’ dialog? Carlito the rescue. Their old feud may return. Penis jokes? Par for the course. So Carlito is helping Torrie out of the ring and misses the Titantron image of Masters coming up from behind him. Lawler to the rescue? This is getting odd. What next? Will Todd Grisham save John Cena? Maybe.

Backstage segments:
Nitro and Melina + Grisham – bleh.
Kenny’s the break out star and he can actually talk. Ron “I was the first black WCW Champion, remember?” Simmons and Flair. Interesting.

IC Ladder Match – Why do they explain the rules? It’s not like a TNA Reverse Battle Royal/Tournament + Hot Dog Eating Contest no mustard allowed match.

Excellent spot with Nitro’s standing drop kick to Hardy on the top of the ladder. It’s one of the crazier ladder spots in recent memory (aside from Shelton Benjamin and his MITB match). After hearing some of the commentary on this match, I think Lawler and JR could be replaced with their video game counterparts and no one would know – just create a soundboard with their voices.

Jeff Hardy wins round three. I think this match proved a toughness to Nitro that I didn’t think he had in him. These two didn’t phone it in – very impressive ladder match. That could have been a main event match – maybe these guys will eventually be in that scene.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Spirit Squad Guy
Dusty heals faster than Wolverine out there. His leg was attacked the entire match, yet he can do his dance. Sorry, Spirit Squad guy.

Backstage: Rated RKO, Maria, and Cryme Tyme.
I’m not sure what the hell happened to the writing, but so far, it’s a good show. It looks like this week the WWE acknowleged the WWE Tag championships and the division. A future storyline with Rated RKO as champs with the face challengers Cryme Tyme? Nah.

Lita could have just had her rant without the blindfold match. So she’s leaving. The division gets smaller and smaller by the day. Considering there’s hardly a division, maybe Lita will just take the title with her.

Captains vs. Captains match.
The faces go over (terrible idea) on the tv show and it ends with an all out brawl. maybe there shouldn’t have been a clean finish and just the brawl.

Decent show overall.

Raw is Pretty Awful

Results from WWE.com:

Sgt. Slaughter def. Nicky
Umaga def. Snitsky
Jeff Hardy def. Intercontinental Champion Johnny Nitro (new champion)
WWE Champion John Cena def. Edge (Steel Cage Match)
DX def. Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch, Viscera & Charlie Haas and the Highlanders (Texas Tornado Match)
Randy Orton def. Carlito
Mickie James def. Victoria

I watched this episode mostly through Picture-in-Picture as I was more interested in the Monday Night Football game since both my fantasy football QB’s were active.

Anti-DX Diatribe:
The night started off with a long DX Promo. I haven’t been interested in what they have had to say for some time now. Then I caught another glimpse of Vince McMahon buried in Big Show’s rear end. Yeah, that’ll get ratings. That’s can’t miss TV.

DX then went on to destroy the entire Raw Tag Team division for the 2nd week in a row and then proceeded to put no one but themselves over. That shot against Chris Masters was uncalled for and their numerous backstage skits were awful. Did I hear a Western Showdown music and see tumbleweed backstage? I know this is a TV show, but WTF? Seriously. It also looks like when Vince is off of TV he gets his dumbest ideas. Yes, let’s see Coach and a fat stripper again. Yet another brilliant idea.

I didn’t find out til this morning that DX wound up booking matches since they threw Coach out. When I saw the Spirit Squad dressed in women’s gear I figured DX must have somehow stolen their clothes (even though the Squad was fully dressed in their first DX encounter).

The Rest of Raw:
Jeff Hardy won the WWE Intercontinental Championship in a very decent match. I am not sure I understand what the IC Championship will do for Hardy. On his first night back he challenged the WWE Champion, Edge. He’s had a decent push – so maybe he’ll elevate the title? I expect the multi-player feud of the IC Championship will be for Cyber Sunday. There’s quite the number of challengers for Hardy to face at the next Raw PPV. BTW – when Hardy put his hand over Melina’s mouth while she was screaming backstage, I thought he became a super-babyface. I had no idea Jeff Hardy could cut a promo. Maybe he is the next HBK?

I didn’t like that Victoria and Mickie James fought in the opening round of the Women’s Championship tournament. I thought they should be in the finals considering they are the two wrestlers left in the division. The Mickie James face turn has been abysmal – why is she a face? She shook hands with Trish? A video package would help before the tournament to let the audience know how we got to where we are. A lack of brackets just says the WWE is making this up as they go along.

The match of the night (except for that ending):
Edge vs. John Cena for the WWE Championship in a Steel Cage. I really like this feud. These guys really work well together and put on good matches. The video packages really built up the match as somethng special.

However, once the IC championship changed hands, I was pretty sure we weren’t getting 2 free title changes on the same show. Way too much interference at the end and DX comes to the aid of Cena. Shouldn’t Cena be making fun of these two old guys? Hell, Cena made H tap at WrestleMania. No flack for that? Nothing?

What about the rest of the rest? Like the Umaga match, Sgt. Slaughter beating Nicky cleanly, and the unpromoted PPV rematch of Carlito vs. Randy Orton. Eh. Umaga beats the man who beat Kane up for a while. Logic dictates that Umaga will beat Kane . Slaughter beating Nicky – there’s 5 of them! Cheat, dammit! Carlito vs. Orton – when the hell is Carlito going to get a win out of this? This would be a feud if they exchanged wins every now and then. It’s just Orton squeaking out wins and Carlito looks like a chump.

Overall – a pretty lousy episode of Raw. Maybe Angle had the right idea of getting away from WWE.

Raw: Sept. 4th Edition

Tonight’s Raw had that “Raw before the PPV” feel.

The show opened with the WWE Champion, Edge, doing an excellent heel promo with a snazzy trailer video to put himself over. The segment was interrupted by John Cena who caught Edge (who jumped off a ladder) then FU’ed Edge through a table. Good promo, good segment, great intensity.

Jeff Hardy and his “Watching Paint Dry” Segment was quite good. It’s a bit of a stretch to set up a joke, but it was alright. The Hardy/Nitro match was way better than I expected. I think Hardy did an admirable job carrying Nitro. Nitro also unveiled some new moves like a standing moonsault and a nifty backbreaker-neckbreaker combo. I fully expect Jeff Hardy to win the IC championship at Unforgiven, btw.

There was some tag team stuff and the continuation of the DX/McMahons + Big Show storyline. I didn’t care for much of the DX stuff, but at least there was a tag team match with tag team moves being used.

The shock of the night was seeing a former SmackDown! Cruiserweight and ECW alum go over the WWE homegrown. I’m talking about the Super Crazy vs. Chris Masters match. It was a decent match and Super Crazy showed everyone the prettiest moonsault in the business.

It looks like Trish is going to go out as champion at Unforgiven – that’s the right thing to do. Additionally, that will bring uncertainty to the championship picture. Could there be a women’s championship tournament maybe open to all WWE divas (including SmackDown!)?

The main event for next week’s Raw is Vince vs. Triple H. I don’t know if that will push buyrates up or not. I thought Vince was shooting when he said he wanted to main event at MSG and now he will. Let’s hope that it will be the last time the 61 year old does this.

A six person tag match? Once again, seems like a device to use right before the PPV. It looks like Carlito is getting some passion out of Randy Orton. Orton is back to a more aggressive style (like when he was challenging for the IC championship a while back). Edge does a fantastic job selling for Carlito and just about anyone he is in the ring with. Here’s hoping he wins at Unforgiven so he’ll be an unsufferable bastard for weeks to come.

Did anyone else find it interesting to see Cena and Orton wrestle? Those two are supposed to be the future of the business (even though Cena is the present) and will probably end up headlining a WrestleMania one day.

Orton gets the win by RKO’ing Trish. The finish was a good way of protecting everyone.

All in all, a pretty good show. Surprisingly solid.